What a Year...

2016. Wow, what a year. Probably one of the toughest years I've experienced, if I'm being honest.

I don't think anyone gets married with the intention of getting divorced. I never thought I'd be in this situation. I never imagined circumstances in my life would warrant a divorce, yet here I find myself. I won't go into detail, because there are two sides to every divorce.

I was TERRIFIED of being divorced. There's a stigma attached to it. Anyone going through or who has gone through a divorce knows what I'm talking about. The "auto-response" from my close friends that I've talked to has been, "Oh , my... I'm so sorry."

My response to this is usually, "Well thank you." You see, I don't want to shock them. Here's the truth: I'm relieved to be getting divorced. When things have been wrong for quite some time and you've done everything you can to mend it but it's just not working... the decision to get a divorce opens the dam of stored up relief. All of the fear, guilt, and anger gets washed away.

Not to sound callous about this... because I'm not calloused. The fear, the guilt and the anger still come back. It's natural to feel these emotions. But the relief... oh, the relief! There's freedom in it.

I believe there are consequences for divorce. I know that I'm breaking a vow I took before God and family. I'm prepared to see what God has in store for me. I'm prepared to live my life in service to Him. My wife and I have gone separate ways. It's what we needed to do. I will not hide from it. I will not live in fear or shame.

I will not flaunt it either. I will maintain dignity and respect. I will be a child of God and recognize the children of God. God loves me no more than anyone else. I will not treat anyone like a doormat. I will not be a doormat. I will be a child of God. I am loved. I love.